Well, EXCUUUUSE ME!

Don’t push me coz I’m close to the edge

Okay, I’m going to warn you (or give you instructions, if you want to look at it that way). If you really want to outright offend me or piss me off, question my parenting ability. Here’s an easy way to do that, tell me:

“Of course you’re able to lose weight, you’re not a mom and you wouldn’t understand.”

This statement is so full of crappy implications that I am going to analyze each one and destroy this “excuse bunker” until the people who say this kind of thing emerge bleary-eyed into the daylight of reality.

Implication #1: “Of course you can spend more time at the gym or spend more time taking care of yourself because you spend LESS time taking care of your children than I do because I am a “mom”.”  

Let’s see what the reality is…

I ask the women who use the “mom” excuse, where’s your husband?

In my family, my wife is currently going back to school to get a degree. That means she’s working and taking classes. She wants to accomplish this. It’s important to her. We’ll do whatever we need to do in order to get it done. When she’s either in class or out of town on a trip or whatever, do I spin my thumbs and sit there and go “Whatever shall I do, I’m just a clueless man who could never take care of a household.”

No, it’s understood that I am going to take care of whatever needs to be taken care of. Dinner, cleaning, whatever. On the flipside, getting to a healthy weight is important to me. She understands this, so she supports me whenever and however she can. It’s a partnership. The things that are important to you SHOULD be important to your partner and vice versa. So… if you are using the “mom” excuse, perhaps you should discuss your relationship with your spouse and emphasize that it’s a “partnership” and you need support and help with your goals. And if your husband refuses to cooperate, then it’s difficult for you to lose weight NOT because you’re a “mom,” but because your husband’s being a dick. You’re using HIS slacking off as a parent as an excuse for you to slack off on taking care of yourself.

Implication #2: “Well, that’s it, I’m a “mom” and there is no way around being overweight.”

Do you realize that’s what you’re saying? You’re saying that you “give up” on your health because you’re a “mom” and you no longer have time. I guess you’re just doomed to being overweight for the rest of your life because I don’t see the “mom” part changing.

Let’s look at the reality, shall we… Hmm, the mom I know best is my own mother. She’s been a mom for 44 years now. She had two kids and worked from the time I was about 7 years old until about 2 years ago. I also know that she has never been more than 120 pounds. HOW CAN THAT BE? She’s a mom! That means she MUST be overweight, right?? What? I don’t get it. Oh, I remember now, it’s because she doesn’t overeat. That’s right… it has nothing to do with her status as a mother, but everything do to with how many calories she takes in. Using the “mom excuse” logic, all mothers would be overweight, yet, you don’t see that. There must be some other factor working here then, huh? Yeah, that “mom excuse” is looking flimsier by the second.

Implication #3: “I’m a mom, which means I’m important to my kids, but since I don’t take care of my health, my kids are going to be screwed if something catastrophic happens to my well-being (especially since my slacker husband can’t take care of them).”  

(See, I’m closer to being a mother than you realized, huh? I’m completely playing the “guilt” card here.) I guess being a mom means you won’t be able to take care of your health, which means your health and weight will deteriorate until, well, who knows what will happen? If being a mom is really important to you, then try taking care of yourself so that you can be a mom for as long as you can!

Yes, I do get offended by people who question my ability as a parent. I’ve been training and wanting to be a father since I was a kid. But when I hear someone tell me that I “wouldn’t understand because you’re not a mom,” I realize that they’re not really questioning my parenting skills but simply coming up with yet another lame excuse for not taking care of themselves. The people who use this statement simply need to realize it for what it is: a lame, (potentially inflammatory) excuse.

It’s a family affair

I’ll admit that this is not something we often do, but I’ll put it out there anyway in case it may benefit someone else. If you’re having trouble finding time or ways to get some activity in, make it a family affair. Take the kids for a walk around the neighborhood. Go to the park and play Frisbee. Take up bike riding with them. When I ride around Audubon Park, I always see joggers (parents, presumably) pushing those “jogging strollers” while they run their laps. That doesn’t need a babysitter! Having children doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to have time to work out or be active, it just means that you are going to have to be more creative. Instead of sitting in the bleachers at soccer practice while scarfing down nachos and cola, get up and walk a few laps around the soccer field. If people look at you funny, and wonder why you’re doing laps around the soccer field, say “because I don’t want to look like Jabba the Hutt.”

But again, (and I will NEVER stop pointing this out) the biggest thing you can do to get down to a healthier weight that doesn’t require ANY babysitters or a spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend or domestic partner is to EAT LESS!

One of the ways that I have been successful this time is recognizing the excuses that I’ve made to others and myself over the years for what they are: excuses. Excuses won’t help you, they won’t get you to a healthier weight, they aren’t really comforting, they don’t really disguise you from others who can see straight through them. All they really do is prevent you from acting and achieving your potential. That’s not a good place. I don’t like that place. I don’t want to be there any more for I spent too much time as a guy who’s been there…