I've changed my mind

I find myself not wanting to lose weight any more.

Well, I still feel I will get down to my goal weight, but losing weight is no longer my overriding concern. No, lately, I’ve been feeling more as if I want to become a better athlete. I figure if I try to become a better athlete, then the weight will come off as a result of that. So, my thinking lately has not been, “I need to exercise to lose weight,” or “I need to watch what I am eating to lose weight.” It’s been more like “what exercises can I do or how can I improve my exercises and eating habits in order to become more efficient and more fit?”

When I was in college, I couldn’t afford a car, so I got a bicycle. I rode it everywhere: to the grocery store, friends’ houses, the mall. When I moved back to New Orleans, and I didn’t have a job, I rode it every day at Audubon Park to pass time. Then, when I did have a job, I rode my bike to my job and then would ride it at my lunch hour to City Park. Shortly before Katrina, my bike was stolen. I bought a new bike after Katrina but I did not really ride it. It was more “just to have a bike.” I guess my thinking was that I didn’t want to be driving my car around town with all the debris and I figured having a bike might be a good alternative. I didn’t really ride it all that much up until the time I started to attempt to lose weight in August, 2010. At the beginning, my wife suggested that I find some sort of sport to do regularly so that I could incorporate more activity into my life. The first thought was tennis because I had played that a lot when I was younger. However, the ability of doing that regularly seemed elusive. I’d need a tennis court available when I had the time and a partner who was at the same skill level. And if you know me, if I am going to do something consistently when it comes to fitness, it has to be simple with few complications. So, then I started wanting to do something that could be incorporated into my daily routine. If you incorporate more activity into your daily routine, then it becomes less “instrusive,” as in having to make time to go to the gym or go to the park to run. My idea was: “I could ride my bike to work!” The only things complicating matters were that I worked across the Mississippi River from where I lived and it was a 28-mile round trip.

In order to find out if I could even make the trip, I picked a Saturday in October to attempt the route. I used the ferry to get across the river and, even though it took a lot out of me that day, I actually made it to my workplace and back. It took a few hours because I had to wait for the ferry and my fitness level was fairly low. Unfortunately, the ferry is the weak link in this chain for me. I am NOT an early riser and in order to make sure I get the ferry on time, I’d have to get up a LOT earlier to ride my bike to work. However, I have ridden my bike to work a few times over this past academic year. But the point of this, is that my attempt to ride to work has been the catalyst for finding what kind of athlete I want to be.

After, my first October attempt, I started riding my bike on the weekends to see if I could improve my time going 28 miles. Then, I got the idea to see just how far I could go. Well, after starting at a max of 28 miles in October, my last personal record for distance on my bike in a single trip is 74.62 miles. If I did my math correctly, that’s a 166 percent increase in 5 months.

I’ve observed that if you want someone to develop an interest in in a hobby or passion, simply devise infinite ways to get people to spend money on that hobby or passion. Even if you can’t afford to upgrade to the best items, you’ll still fantasize about what you’re going to get and it will spark your imagination. If you are into woodworking, you’ll be thinking about that nice new compound miter saw, while snatching up an inexpensive set of files. You’ll want to work to develop your woodworking skills, try out new techniques, and see what you can accomplish.

Well, if there is an interest or passion you can spend a lot of money on, it’s cycling.

But the good thing is, you don’t have to spend a lot of money on it. Just make the initial bike purchase for a decent bike. You can put all the upgrades on it if you can afford it or save up to by a seriously expensive bike.

And I don’t have to find a special place to do it or do it with anyone else. I can do it on my own and I just need a road to do it on.

And that is what has taken my mind off losing weight. I want to be a better cyclist.

The Experiment

When a scientist wants to test a hypothesis he designs an experiment to see what the results will be. He has an idea of what might happen but is uncertain as to the outcome, and he won’t know for sure unless he actually performs the experiment.

Saturday, April 23, 2011 was a big experiment for me.

A few weeks earlier, my friend David had suggested that I sign up for any local footrace because he found that committing yourself to a public event is a good motivator to train. Plus, there are lots of footrace opportunities out there. After I read his suggestion on my facebook page, I was not really interested. I am not a runner. Then, while driving in my car on the way home from work that day, I thought about any upcoming races I knew about and then I thought “Oh, wait, the Crescent City Classic should be coming up soon. I’ll look into that.” My thinking was “okay, he wants me to sign up for a race huh? Okay, I’ll show him by signing up for a 10k.” I looked it up online and found that it was 3 weeks away. I had been working out since August, so I figured I could probably finish a 10k. However, I had never been a strong runner. And the only running I had done lately was on a controlled treadmill in a gym. So, I started running at Audubon Park instead.

Ok, big difference. Seriously. While I can pace myself on a treadmill by dialing in a rate, I had a lot of trouble pacing myself on my own in an outdoor environment. I found myself going a lot faster in the park than on a treadmill and wearing myself out a lot sooner. After a couple of days of doing that, I forcibly tried to make myself go slower and had some success in increasing my distance. However, during the first two weeks of jogging at Audubon, I never did more than 3 miles. So, yeah, this was going to be a big experiment.

By this time, a bunch of people I knew had signed up: my wife, my sister and brother-in-law, a couple of friends and my friends John and Stephanie were coming in from Lafayette to do it. John and Stephanie were some of the initial catalysts for my current weight loss when they started posting their fitness achievements online.

The third week (and the week before the race) I scaled way back in order to let my body recover, as per my friend David. I found myself excited about the race when I went to observe my friend David and his wife Amy participate in the Ironman Triathlon 70.3 the weekend before the CCC. It was neat knowing I’d be participating in a public event in a week.

I knew I’d be able to complete the route, but I had no idea how much I’d be able to jog it and how long it would take me, but like a scientist, I wouldn’t know the outcome unless I did it. I’d give it my best effort regardless and it would be the baseline for the future.

I was a little nervous making sure I’d get there in time and I hardly slept the night before, but once the cannon went off and the race started I was excited and eager to get across the starting line. There were SOOO many people it was crazy. It took me 12 minutes and 15 seconds to get to the starting line and once I crossed it I started jogging in and around and between people in order to get by them. I knew I was going faster than I should have, but I was trying to get around so many people. I did that weaving for about the first mile. By the time I got to the 2^nd mile water station, I was boiling hot and had to stop to pick up a drink and start walking. I promised myself I wouldn’t walk for long, so I started up again and my legs were a bit rubbery, but I jogged for a while again before having to walk for a while. I found it mentally challenging because there were so many people. I found myself just giving up going around them and starting to walk every now and then. The last two miles or so, I tried to jog the whole way. Then, the last ½ mile I started running as fast as I could with what I had left in me. I felt like a running back dodging other players. As I made my way to the finish line, I saw my mom and daughter cheering me on. I had finished with a total time of 1:31:49, which was at the upper limit of what I had expected to do. But, I had the results of my experiment. I hadn’t known exactly what I was capable of until I crossed that finish line. Now, I want to improve and refine myself so that I can do better the next experiment.

I hadn’t won a prize after finishing in 12,136^th place, but it was incredibly rewarding nonetheless because as I made my way through the barricades to the area where only the racers were able to go, I looked at everyone sporting their numbers and I looked down and saw mine. I thought to myself, “I am no longer a spectator.” Because as far as the Crescent City Classic is concerned, I’m a guy who’s been there—and gotten the t-shirt!

Heart Attack or Stab Wounds?

Typically, my mind likes to wander. I think and analyze all kinds of things. I try not to get bored by keeping my mind occupied by going over and over different scenarios in my head.

When I was obese, one thing that I thought about was “if I had to run for my life, could I do it?” Meaning, if a knife-wielding maniac were coming after me, would I be able to outrun him and get away? If I were honest with myself, my response would have probably been something like “well, I’d try, but I think the situation would either end with me having a heart attack due to overexertion or him catching me and stabbing me to death.” Fortunately, I’ve turned my life around and I am now working toward a more fit, in-shape body. I think I have a sporting chance now. However, when I look at people around me during the day, I often wonder how they’d do in a life-threatening situation. If there were a fire or a flash flood, could they outrun it or get away? A lot of times, I have to think “um, no. Probably not.” So, at this point, ask yourself, “could I run for my life if I had to?”

If your answer is “probably not.” Then, what are you waiting for? What are you going to do about it?

Powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal me.

No, that’s not a typo in the above line from the introduction to the old Superman TV series. The real intro ends with the word “men.” But let me tell you what I am getting at. I’m starting to feel different. I don’t know if I can express it in words, but I will try.

As some of you may know, I am an elementary school teacher. This year, I have been assigned as a P.E. teacher for the first time in my 8 years of teaching. That gives me a lot of time to be active during the day with the kids.

Now this may seem small and not too significant, but I thought it meant something. Today, we were playing with the basketballs. There are two really high rims with somewhat new nets that aren’t completely broken in. We also have these new basketballs that are “grippy” and a little big for the nets. What happens when one of those balls goes into the hoop is that they get stuck in the net until they look like a baby crowning out of its mother. This results in someone having to take another ball and throwing it at the stuck ball from underneath in order to bounce it out the top of the hoop until it goes out that way. But today, I did something different. While my coworker was turned around, I jumped up and tipped the ball ever so slightly that it managed to come loose from the bottom and fell out. He turned around and said, “how did you get it out?” I said, “I jumped up and tipped it.” He said, disbelievingly, “yeah, right.” I said, “Okay, I’ll show you.” So, we purposely got another ball stuck and, this time, it took a few tries, but I got it out again by jumping up and tapping it.

So, what’s the big deal right? Well, seven months ago there was NO way I would have even thought that I could have jumped up high enough to reach that ball. Now, I haven’t been working on jumping or trying to reach higher, but it’s like a side effect of being more physically fit. It’s a two-fold change. On the one hand, my working out and exercising has given me more abilities. On the other hand, my attitude has changed to one where I think “Hmm.. maybe I CAN do that, let me try.” My confidence in my body’s ability has been boosted.

On my facebook page, I said that this year will be the year of “Super Shawn.” Mostly, I meant it for the way I’d look by the end, but it’s taken on a new meaning for me. My getting in shape and more fit is starting to result in a “super” version of me: someone with powers and abilities far beyond those of the old me. I’m not trying to say that I’ve become this wonderful, new athlete who is all buff and strong. No, instead, I’m saying that compared to the old version of me, I’m much more fit and able. The old me was happy to do 20 miles on a single bike ride. The new me just did 74 miles on a single bike ride this past Sunday. The old me would never have thought to sign up for a 10k run. The new me has entered the Crescent City Classic for the first time. The new me is toying with the idea of becoming a swimmer so that he can do a triathlon next year (no, not an Ironman or half-Ironman, but a triathlon nonetheless).

I think what is happening is that for the first time since I was in middle school, I am starting to feel “athletic.” I still have a long way to go before I shed all the weight I want to shed, but I can see that I am chipping away at the flab bit by bit. I’ve realized that you don’t know the limits of your body’s abilities until you test those limits. Too many of us are complacent and set in our ways to try anything new. We should take on a new attitude to expand our limits. How many times have you backed out of doing something because you didn’t think you could do it? Or said you couldn’t do it because you’re too old? Or too out of shape?

One thing that kept haunting me when I first started becoming serious about getting in shape and more fit was “did I start too late?” I kept thinking “why didn’t I do this earlier in life?” But now, I have tried to combat thinking this way with the thought that “I can’t change that now, but I can be the best I can be right now.” Which allows me to segue into my goal status…

We’ve slashed 15 percent off!

I had promised to wait until March 31 to weigh myself in the hopes that I would finally be under 200 pounds for the first time in 16 years. Even though I like to present a confident, upbeat persona it takes a lot for me to maintain that façade. Yes, part of it is a façade. I still have a lot of anxiety over my weight and whether I am eating right or pushing myself hard enough. The night of March 30 I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep because I was filled with anxiety about weighing myself in the morning. I wanted so badly to be under 200. It had been part of my goal for the last 7 months. When I did fall asleep, I actually had nightmares about the weigh-in. I dreamt that I could not stop taking off shirts before getting on the scale. I must’ve had 100 shirts on and every time I’d remove one to get ready to weigh myself, another one would be underneath. Then, the shirts somehow wound up in the toilet causing it to overflow and my having to deal with that prevented me from weighing myself. Then I dreamt that the digital readout was broken on the scale. Finally, I woke up around 6 a.m. and decided to get it over with. When I stepped on the scale, I was prepared for anything, but really hoping for something beginning with a “1”. It read 196. Whew…

That meant that I had lost 32 pounds so far. Since that day, I’ve weighed myself a couple more times and when I calculate it all out, I’ve lost 15 percent of my original body weight. Fifteen percent of me no longer exists. It’s gone. Burned off into energy.

My new weight-loss goal is to be 188 by the end of the school year. The school year ends at the end of May so I have almost 2 months to lose around 6 to 8 pounds. I started being serious about losing weight on Aug. 8, the day before school began. Being 188 would mean I would have lost 40 pounds over the entire school year. It seems like a nice round number and achievable.

How are you?

As I write this blog, I think about the people who read it. I would really like to know what you are going through and what concerns you have. I’d also like to know if there is anything you’ve encountered and want to know how I’ve dealt with it in hopes of helping you deal with it. Also, I’d like to know about your successes. There is a comment link at the end of every blog entry. Please take the time to write something this time around to let me know what you are going through. It can be anonymous or you can leave your name. I’ll read the comments and then I’ll try to give you the best perspective from a guy who’s been there.