Heart Attack or Stab Wounds?

Typically, my mind likes to wander. I think and analyze all kinds of things. I try not to get bored by keeping my mind occupied by going over and over different scenarios in my head.

When I was obese, one thing that I thought about was “if I had to run for my life, could I do it?” Meaning, if a knife-wielding maniac were coming after me, would I be able to outrun him and get away? If I were honest with myself, my response would have probably been something like “well, I’d try, but I think the situation would either end with me having a heart attack due to overexertion or him catching me and stabbing me to death.” Fortunately, I’ve turned my life around and I am now working toward a more fit, in-shape body. I think I have a sporting chance now. However, when I look at people around me during the day, I often wonder how they’d do in a life-threatening situation. If there were a fire or a flash flood, could they outrun it or get away? A lot of times, I have to think “um, no. Probably not.” So, at this point, ask yourself, “could I run for my life if I had to?”

If your answer is “probably not.” Then, what are you waiting for? What are you going to do about it?

Powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal me.

No, that’s not a typo in the above line from the introduction to the old Superman TV series. The real intro ends with the word “men.” But let me tell you what I am getting at. I’m starting to feel different. I don’t know if I can express it in words, but I will try.

As some of you may know, I am an elementary school teacher. This year, I have been assigned as a P.E. teacher for the first time in my 8 years of teaching. That gives me a lot of time to be active during the day with the kids.

Now this may seem small and not too significant, but I thought it meant something. Today, we were playing with the basketballs. There are two really high rims with somewhat new nets that aren’t completely broken in. We also have these new basketballs that are “grippy” and a little big for the nets. What happens when one of those balls goes into the hoop is that they get stuck in the net until they look like a baby crowning out of its mother. This results in someone having to take another ball and throwing it at the stuck ball from underneath in order to bounce it out the top of the hoop until it goes out that way. But today, I did something different. While my coworker was turned around, I jumped up and tipped the ball ever so slightly that it managed to come loose from the bottom and fell out. He turned around and said, “how did you get it out?” I said, “I jumped up and tipped it.” He said, disbelievingly, “yeah, right.” I said, “Okay, I’ll show you.” So, we purposely got another ball stuck and, this time, it took a few tries, but I got it out again by jumping up and tapping it.

So, what’s the big deal right? Well, seven months ago there was NO way I would have even thought that I could have jumped up high enough to reach that ball. Now, I haven’t been working on jumping or trying to reach higher, but it’s like a side effect of being more physically fit. It’s a two-fold change. On the one hand, my working out and exercising has given me more abilities. On the other hand, my attitude has changed to one where I think “Hmm.. maybe I CAN do that, let me try.” My confidence in my body’s ability has been boosted.

On my facebook page, I said that this year will be the year of “Super Shawn.” Mostly, I meant it for the way I’d look by the end, but it’s taken on a new meaning for me. My getting in shape and more fit is starting to result in a “super” version of me: someone with powers and abilities far beyond those of the old me. I’m not trying to say that I’ve become this wonderful, new athlete who is all buff and strong. No, instead, I’m saying that compared to the old version of me, I’m much more fit and able. The old me was happy to do 20 miles on a single bike ride. The new me just did 74 miles on a single bike ride this past Sunday. The old me would never have thought to sign up for a 10k run. The new me has entered the Crescent City Classic for the first time. The new me is toying with the idea of becoming a swimmer so that he can do a triathlon next year (no, not an Ironman or half-Ironman, but a triathlon nonetheless).

I think what is happening is that for the first time since I was in middle school, I am starting to feel “athletic.” I still have a long way to go before I shed all the weight I want to shed, but I can see that I am chipping away at the flab bit by bit. I’ve realized that you don’t know the limits of your body’s abilities until you test those limits. Too many of us are complacent and set in our ways to try anything new. We should take on a new attitude to expand our limits. How many times have you backed out of doing something because you didn’t think you could do it? Or said you couldn’t do it because you’re too old? Or too out of shape?

One thing that kept haunting me when I first started becoming serious about getting in shape and more fit was “did I start too late?” I kept thinking “why didn’t I do this earlier in life?” But now, I have tried to combat thinking this way with the thought that “I can’t change that now, but I can be the best I can be right now.” Which allows me to segue into my goal status…

We’ve slashed 15 percent off!

I had promised to wait until March 31 to weigh myself in the hopes that I would finally be under 200 pounds for the first time in 16 years. Even though I like to present a confident, upbeat persona it takes a lot for me to maintain that façade. Yes, part of it is a façade. I still have a lot of anxiety over my weight and whether I am eating right or pushing myself hard enough. The night of March 30 I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep because I was filled with anxiety about weighing myself in the morning. I wanted so badly to be under 200. It had been part of my goal for the last 7 months. When I did fall asleep, I actually had nightmares about the weigh-in. I dreamt that I could not stop taking off shirts before getting on the scale. I must’ve had 100 shirts on and every time I’d remove one to get ready to weigh myself, another one would be underneath. Then, the shirts somehow wound up in the toilet causing it to overflow and my having to deal with that prevented me from weighing myself. Then I dreamt that the digital readout was broken on the scale. Finally, I woke up around 6 a.m. and decided to get it over with. When I stepped on the scale, I was prepared for anything, but really hoping for something beginning with a “1”. It read 196. Whew…

That meant that I had lost 32 pounds so far. Since that day, I’ve weighed myself a couple more times and when I calculate it all out, I’ve lost 15 percent of my original body weight. Fifteen percent of me no longer exists. It’s gone. Burned off into energy.

My new weight-loss goal is to be 188 by the end of the school year. The school year ends at the end of May so I have almost 2 months to lose around 6 to 8 pounds. I started being serious about losing weight on Aug. 8, the day before school began. Being 188 would mean I would have lost 40 pounds over the entire school year. It seems like a nice round number and achievable.

How are you?

As I write this blog, I think about the people who read it. I would really like to know what you are going through and what concerns you have. I’d also like to know if there is anything you’ve encountered and want to know how I’ve dealt with it in hopes of helping you deal with it. Also, I’d like to know about your successes. There is a comment link at the end of every blog entry. Please take the time to write something this time around to let me know what you are going through. It can be anonymous or you can leave your name. I’ll read the comments and then I’ll try to give you the best perspective from a guy who’s been there.