John Mayer was right!

Your body IS a Wonderland.

However, many of us have abandoned and neglected our Wonderlands for so long that only the Scooby Doo Gang would be interested in investigating.

A sad situation

My daughter is taking Irish Dancing lessons and has been for a couple of years. Now, most people think instantly of “Lord of the Dance,” and yes, they are doing Irish dancing of a sort, but there is more to it than that. But I bring it up because there is one girl who is also a dancer there. She seems to have been born without fully developed arms. In fact, her arms end abruptly right below her shoulders and she has small hands that don’t seem fully functional. Now, that’s not sad. In fact, she’s quite inspiring because here is someone born with a disability who is doing something active and creative with her body. Most Irish dancing is done with the legs and lower body and she is using the parts of her body that work well to do something amazing and fun.

No, the sad situation is this…

So many of us were born fully abled. We were born with bodies and limbs that worked perfectly or, at the very least, well enough. Yet, here we sit letting our bodies turn into gelatinous blobs. We have been putting ourselves into a chosen disability. I know a person who is so large now that he must use a shopping cart to prop himself up with in order to walk because his knees cannot support his weight.

I know this is anecdotal but, when I go to Wal-mart and I see someone using those electric scooters they have available at the front of the store, it has never been someone who appeared unable to walk. It has never been someone crippled or lame or with a broken leg. No, EVERY single time I’ve seen a scooter in use, it’s been someone who could be considered morbidly obese. It’s as if they have said to themselves, “not only am I large now, but I am going to conserve EVERY last calorie by doing the least amount of work.” I’ve begun my journey in earnest because I don’t want to be one of those people. I was on that track to being someone like that--a person so large that he could not function normally any more.

People, I implore you: do not impose this disability on yourselves. Do something. Anything! Find an activity you like and can do and do it! Gardening, cycling, dancing! You were born with an incredible, amazing, living machine that is capable of so much more than what you are doing now.

Your body truly is a wonderland, you just have to use it.

I’m going to be rich!

When I signed up to do this blog, there was an option to “monetize” my blog. “Monetizing” my blog means allowing some ads to run on my blog page and I would get some money out of it based on a bunch of different factors. Now, I’m sure that I would not get much money this way, probably only a few cents here and there.

Instead, I have come up with a plan to get rich quickly. You just have to listen to what I have to say: I’ve come up with a sure-fire way to lose weight! Here’s how it works: I have come up with a pill that will only cost you $20 each pill and you take one once a day and I GUARANTEE that you will lose weight.*

(*must use pill combined with enclosed diet and exercise plan)

Now, the pills are 100-percent all-natural, quantum-vibrating, homeopathic pills using “caloric induction” and many other confusing buzzwords that are popular right now. I must warn you however, no matter how much they look, taste and smell like “Flintstones Chewable Vitamins,” they are NOT “Flintstones Chewable Vitamins.” They are a proprietary blend of herbs and supplements and the liquid lipid extract of a Burmese python combined in way to burn weight off of people. Seriously, don’t have any of these vita… er, “pills” analyzed in a lab because I own the recipe and I’ll sue.

Now, there IS an enclosed diet and exercise plan that you get with the vita… shit, I mean, PILLS.  All you have to do is take one $20 pill a day and eat half the calories you would normally eat. Then do a simple cardio workout for 60 minutes at around an 8 on your exertion scale 5 days a week. Finally, you must do 45 minutes of weight/resistance training every other day. Oh, and cut out all beverages except water.

Do that and my pills will work their weight-loss magic!! Honestly!!

Now, some of you may think you have figured this out and say, “Well, heck, what do I need the pills for? If I just did the diet and exercise plan, I’d lose weight.” And you’d be dead wrong! There would be NO WAY for me to make any money off desperate people… I mean, there would be NO WAY for you to lose weight if you didn’t take my magical weight-loss pills! What are you waiting for, you may lose up to 10 pounds in a week (your actual results may vary and you may not lose any weight at all) but you MAY lose UP TO 10 pounds in a week. Yes, you MAY! And “may” means “guaranteed to!” Right?

Had enough yet?

Okay, so, the real reason I am not going to ever monetize my blog is this: I have no way of controlling the content of the ads on my page. I’ve perused some of the other blogs and I’ve seen some of the ads for crap that I don’t want to be promoting AT ALL! Mostly, crap that says you can lose weight quickly.

Face it, everyone.  There is NO easy way to lose weight and get in shape. And if you ever need proof of this, go to any public place: mall, grocery store, post-office, etc. Then, look and see how many overweight or morbidly obese people you see. If there were an easy way to lose weight and get in shape, think about it, there would be NO one overweight and obese! Who would choose that (except a small subset into that kind of thing: think fat porn).  But seriously, the reason there are so many of us overweight is that it’s DIFFICULT to lose weight. There is no magic pill, there is no magic exercise device. Almost every pill/system that is offered to consumers comes with an enclosed “diet and exercise” plan that if you just followed that you wouldn’t NEED the product being advertised. Get with the program people. I know you’re desperate, I know you heard about something that a friend of a friend tried and they lost 15 pounds, but use your brains and critical thinking skills: if it worked, why are there still so many overweight people? Get this through your head:

Total calories consumed < Total calories burned means weight loss.

That’s the most basic thing you need to know.

It’s not rocket science. (However, it is chemistry and physics with a little third grade math.)

Look, I’ve tried Slimfast, I’ve tried fat burning pills but there has been only ONE thing that has worked: cutting back on eating combined with a consistent exercise plan. Don’t believe the weight-loss hype, but I guarantee you can trust me on this. After all, why wouldn’t you believe a guy who’s been there?

All the small things...

You don’t win friends with salad!

In other words, I wouldn’t succeed in my weight-loss attempt if all I ate was salad.  Yet another switch in my thinking from the past ways was the change from believing I had to eat certain foods, or eliminate certain foods in my diet, into the belief that it wasn’t what I was eating, per se, but rather how much.

Let’s go back about 20 years. In 1991, my New Year’s Resolution was to give up eating beef and pork and drinking sodas. At that point in my life, I was eating a Quarter Pounder with cheese value meal every single day for lunch (McDonald’s was right across the street from campus) and guzzling down a 2-liter bottle of Coke a day. (Neither of those is an exaggeration plus I am sure some of you can relate.) So, in an effort to lose weight, I decided to cut out beef and pork and soda. I was an “all or nothing” thinker who knew I would cheat if I allowed myself any leeway, so I decided to cut them out altogether. For example, if I knew I could eat beef on certain “special” days, then all of a sudden every day would be one of those “special” days. If I knew I couldn’t eat it at all, then, there was no excuse.

I managed to keep up the New Year’s Resolution until 2005 when Katrina hit. After we lost almost everything in our house and lost where we were living, we went to live with my cousin and several other members of my extended family. We were getting donated food and I started eating beef and pork again. I wasn’t going to turn down a donated ham from someone who was trying to help us, plus I wasn’t morally opposed to eating meat, it had just been an attempt to lose weight. When the New Year came again January 2006, I once again gave up beef and pork since we were once again self-sufficient. However, over the last couple of years, I had to reassess and come to the conclusion that the experiment had been a failure. Especially, since I realized that I weighed about 40 pounds more than when I had first given up beef and pork.

The problem was that when I gave up eating beef and pork, I hadn’t given up eating massive quantities of other foods--like Popeye’s Chicken, or ice cream or any of a myriad of other foods.

Sometimes, I see friends who want to lose weight and they tell me how much they’re eating salad or replacing meals with something like Slimfast. I can tell you this, if all I was eating was salad and Slimfast, I would not be able to keep it up and I would probably quit after a month or two. At this point, I still eat foods that I enjoy, I just eat much less of them. You have to do something sustainable, otherwise, the tiger will get you. (More on the tiger later…)

I must confess though, that this past New Year’s I did give up bread and bread-like products. I left myself a couple of exceptions though: birthday cake on my birthday and Warm Melting Chocolate Cake on Carnival Cruises. Since, those two things are not every-day items, I figured I could allow myself those. However, rather than be a weight-loss experiment, it’s more of an attempt to control my carb intake due to my diabetes. It forces me to be a little more creative in my eating habits. I did leave myself two outs: crackers and tortillas. I can see myself starting to have problems controlling my cracker intake as I work crackers into my diet more and more. I’m going to have to address that with myself at some point, because right now, I seem to have Kirk Van Houten working overtime. (If you get THAT reference, you are a true geek!)

I’m also not a big fruit or vegetable eater. I’ve been trying to incorporate more fruits into my diet. I experiment with new ones every now and then, but all I seem to like are bananas. And vegetables? I don’t think there are any I could qualify as “liking.” I need to work on that too. The closest thing I get to eating “salad” is taking raw baby spinach and putting grilled chicken on it. Then, when I eat it, I have to have a piece of chicken with every bite of leaves.

I guess the biggest lesson I’ve learned with all my experiments with food and depriving myself of certain items is that first I must cut back, then I can start to think about how to be creative with varying my diet. Because, when I cut back, I was still eating foods I liked, yet I was getting results. Now, I can be bolder and experiment with expanding my dietary horizons while realizing I can still eat the foods I like, but just in smaller quantities. I’m no longer ham-stringing myself and setting myself up for failure.

The Eye of the Tiger

I get tempted sometimes and the temptation is overwhelming. There are days when I don’t think I am going to be able to resist giving into temptation, but I always convince myself that my efforts will be rewarded.

Oh, wait, I’m not talking about food. I’m talking about weighing myself on the scale.

Yes, at a certain point in my weight-loss journey, I became pretty addicted to weighing myself. I started off at 228 lbs. on August 8, 2010. By January 7, 2011, I was 204.2 lbs. And every day for a month, I was 204.2 lbs. It was pretty discouraging, but I weaned myself off the scale and just kept being consistent with my exercise and eating habits. When I last weighed myself in mid-February, I was 200.2 lbs. I haven’t weighed myself since then and I don’t intend to weigh myself until March 31, 2011. And that brings me to my next subject:

Goals

It’s important to have goals. But you must have variety in your goals. For example, my current goal is to be under 200 lbs. I have not been under 200 lbs. in about 16 years. The last time I weighed myself, I was 200.2 lbs. I want to give myself the best chance of being under 200, so I am not going to weigh myself for another 2 weeks. If I make it, great. If I don’t, well, it’ll just take longer. My long-term goal is to be a healthy-weight for my size. That’s around 160 pounds. If I make it, great. But you know what? I’ve realized that it’s not about the goals. It’s about the little things on the way there.

In the beginning of this journey, I never would have thought that I could have ridden my bike for 60 miles at a stretch. I have done that now. Having these goals to work toward gives me big dreams. Now, I want to be able to train and ride my bike from New Orleans to Chicago. If you think I’m crazy, oh well, at least I have a goal and I am working toward it. How can you know your potential unless you try something you’ve never done before?

But like I said, it’s the little things on the way to the goal that matter.

Things like my daughter telling me she can hug me and clasp her hands all the way behind my back now. It’s actually being okay with having my picture taken. It’s checking out my body’s profile in a store window to see my progress. It’s being able to buy size L shirts instead of XXL. It’s buying a new belt two inches shorter than the old one. It’s having fingers that actually feel thinner. It’s my noticing that I am starting to have a defined jawline.

One thing it’s not: a number on a scale.

I’ve often thought about what’s going to happen when I reach my goal. Will I give up and suffer the fate of so many who’ve tried before. Will I be a part of the group that gains all the weight back? It’s a real fear of mine. That I will lose that fire and just give up again. But I think having long-term goals will help me stay focused. Let’s say I want to become a long-distance cyclist, and say I make it to Chicago, then what? Then maybe I try to go from coast to coast. I’ll just keep dreaming big and working toward those goals. That will help me keep the weight off--the constant pursuit of bigger dreams.

I’ve come to realize that there is a tiger chasing me: the weight-gain tiger. He’s chasing me and he’s never going to stop. I have to be constantly vigilant. I must never stop trying to outrun him. It’s going to be a way of life from here on out. When we slack off, that’s when he pounces, we give up and start spiraling out of control with our weight. That tiger chasing me is a reminder that I will always be a guy who’s been there.

Pictures of progress

Scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page for the Official "Before" Picture and a new, recent picture taken on March 13, 2011.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.

I’ve said, and cannot emphasize enough, how important mental attitude has been in my recent weight-loss attempt. I feel as if this mental attitude has given me a sort of “Spidey-sense” when it comes to interpreting how successful I’ll think someone else will be in his or her attempt. I’m around a lot of people who want to lose weight and get in shape, yet, I can somewhat tell who’s going to stick with it and who’s just in that vague state of “not-quite-ready” to commit. I’d like to try to encourage those who want to lose, but are not yet in the frame of mind to change. I think back to what would have encouraged me or what someone could have done to start me on the journey to a healthier life. And I come up with one, simple answer:

Nothing.

I know that’s not a very satisfying answer, but I’ll elaborate and maybe we can come up with a way to help those who are “on the fence.”

First of all, let’s state the obvious. When I was obese (clinically, now I am merely “overweight”) there was an elephant in the room…and it was me. Seriously, no one likes to discuss people’s weights. It’s impolite and among the things that civilized people do not discuss with one another to their faces. It’s unfortunate, because, rather than sweeping the issue under the rug, I think we should have a more open dialog about obesity and what we can do to combat it. But the reality is that a fat person knows they are fat. We don’t have to tell them. I knew I was, even though no one would tell me to my face. Telling me or chastising me about what I was eating or how much I was eating would only have caused me to feel more shame when I was already feeling ashamed. And that would have driven me to the remedy of doing what? Eating more.

I also knew that I should lose some weight. When I was 32, I was diagnosed with gout, it’s an affliction of the joints that causes outbreaks of severe pain due to a build-up of crystals in my blood. My doctor told me that I could improve my health and cut down on the outbreaks if I lost a significant amount of weight. That was 12 years ago and I’m just getting around to it. If a trained medical professional, whose job is to get people healthy tells me to lose weight and get in shape and I don’t do it, what are the chances that some other person is going to be able to influence me to change?

The trouble is that when we try to encourage others to be healthy and change their lifestyle we walk a fine line between being caring and being overbearing. I will tell you this, if someone HAD told me I was eating too much or that I needed to change, I would not have gotten mad at them. I am a somewhat rational person and I would have realized that they were stating the obvious, but I would have gotten mad at MYSELF. And I think that when people do lash out at others for trying to get them to change, it’s because deep down inside, they are angry with themselves for letting it get out of hand with their weight.

So, what can we do? Well, like I said, I’ve gotten kind of a “Spidey-sense.” Now this sense has come about through trial and error with my attempts to encourage people at work. I know that, at times, I’ve been, and still can be, overbearing in my encouragement. I’ve learned to sense who is going to keep that fire lit and who’s just going to ignore me. So, I try to encourage those who I think will benefit from encouragement and leave alone those who don’t seem to want to try at this point.

And just to clarify, I’m not going up to random people who are overweight and saying “hey, you need to lose a few pounds.” No, I only discuss these kinds of things with people who say to me something like “I see you are having success, I’d like to lose weight. How do you do it? What can I do?” In other words, people who claim to want to change and lose weight. Now, of this group, I can tell that there are those who are serious, those who are “on the fence” and those who are nowhere near the right frame of mind. Unfortunately, if they are nowhere near the right frame of mind, there’s not much I can do to encourage them. They are not going to try. They are going to come up with excuse after excuse as to why they can’t exercise. They’ll rationalize every sweet or snack they put into their mouths as something that “won’t hurt because it’s just a small thing” even though they do it 20 times a day. How do I know they’ll do this?… well, obviously you haven’t learned the name of my blog yet. (Oh right! DUH!)

Okay, there is this one person at work who I think is really making a good effort. I think she’s finally in the right frame of mind and she’s going to be successful. She is starting to be very consistent and learning to make the right choices. All she needs is a little push from time to time to see if she’s going to the gym or walking at the track. I can see the determination forming in her and that she wants to be successful. I’m not really worried about her because I think it’s almost to the point where I don’t have to push her. It’ll get done because she WANTS it to get done.  And that’s where everyone should be. We should all be at the point where we are doing it not because someone else wants us to, but because WE want to do it for ourselves. All the external encouragement won’t do any good unless we have internal encouragement.

So, how do we help those who are “on the fence.” Right now, the way I try to do it is by setting a good example. I try to be consistent at work and at home. When someone at work tries to rationalize something, I point out that they’re just making an excuse and try to give her a healthier alternative. For example, a friend of mine reaches for the chocolate when stressed out. She associates stress with eating (something I think we can all relate to). However, I said, in that case, why not replace it with a healthier alternative? She likes grapes, so I said, bring grapes to work and when you get stressed, reach for those.  

I don’t know if you’d want to do this, but it’s an approach I’ve tried. I’ve just gone straight up to someone and said this “Look, I know you have told me you wanted help losing weight, if you’re serious, I can help you. But it’s something YOU have to want and you have to be consistent. If you need me, I’ll be here to help, but I can’t change you. Only you can do that.” (In fact, I told someone that just today.)

A New Hope

One of the things that got me down about my weight loss is that it seemed so overwhelming. It seemed like an enormous task that was never going to get done. I had to change that thinking into “yes, it can be done.” I saw other people who were doing it. I was jealous of them and that finally got me to switch over. So, if you are trying to encourage someone to change, the biggest thing you can do for them is give them the hope that they CAN change. Show them examples (again YouTube is awesome for showing weight-loss success stories). I watch Biggest Loser every week and cry every time because I see these people changing their lives and I know they feel better about themselves because I know that feeling now too! We need to kindle that flame of hope inside those who want to change.

In the end, the best we can do is tell someone, “You can do it. I know you can. You just need to try and I’m here to help you if you want it.” If they are sincere in their desire, they’ll make an effort. But if they are not mentally ready, there’s nothing more we can do to help them at this point-- except wait for them to get into the right frame of mind.

Changing the subject

I had a really depressing thought today. I was looking at a picture of myself from when I was about 14 years old. Back then I was playing tennis 6 hours a day EVERY day. I was slender and in excellent shape. I actually had a defined body form that looked athletic. And of course, I thought to myself “wow, look how slender and in shape I looked back then.” But that’s not what made me sad. No, what made me sad was that I thought about some of the kids at the elementary school where I work. A significant portion of them are what we’d consider morbidly obese, including a few kindergartners. What made me sad was the thought that, unless something changes, these kids won’t even have a picture to look back on to say “look how in shape I was then” and that being obese is all they’ll ever know. It upsets me to realize that these kids are already there when I was already in college before I was a guy who’s been there…

Well, EXCUUUUSE ME!

Don’t push me coz I’m close to the edge

Okay, I’m going to warn you (or give you instructions, if you want to look at it that way). If you really want to outright offend me or piss me off, question my parenting ability. Here’s an easy way to do that, tell me:

“Of course you’re able to lose weight, you’re not a mom and you wouldn’t understand.”

This statement is so full of crappy implications that I am going to analyze each one and destroy this “excuse bunker” until the people who say this kind of thing emerge bleary-eyed into the daylight of reality.

Implication #1: “Of course you can spend more time at the gym or spend more time taking care of yourself because you spend LESS time taking care of your children than I do because I am a “mom”.”  

Let’s see what the reality is…

I ask the women who use the “mom” excuse, where’s your husband?

In my family, my wife is currently going back to school to get a degree. That means she’s working and taking classes. She wants to accomplish this. It’s important to her. We’ll do whatever we need to do in order to get it done. When she’s either in class or out of town on a trip or whatever, do I spin my thumbs and sit there and go “Whatever shall I do, I’m just a clueless man who could never take care of a household.”

No, it’s understood that I am going to take care of whatever needs to be taken care of. Dinner, cleaning, whatever. On the flipside, getting to a healthy weight is important to me. She understands this, so she supports me whenever and however she can. It’s a partnership. The things that are important to you SHOULD be important to your partner and vice versa. So… if you are using the “mom” excuse, perhaps you should discuss your relationship with your spouse and emphasize that it’s a “partnership” and you need support and help with your goals. And if your husband refuses to cooperate, then it’s difficult for you to lose weight NOT because you’re a “mom,” but because your husband’s being a dick. You’re using HIS slacking off as a parent as an excuse for you to slack off on taking care of yourself.

Implication #2: “Well, that’s it, I’m a “mom” and there is no way around being overweight.”

Do you realize that’s what you’re saying? You’re saying that you “give up” on your health because you’re a “mom” and you no longer have time. I guess you’re just doomed to being overweight for the rest of your life because I don’t see the “mom” part changing.

Let’s look at the reality, shall we… Hmm, the mom I know best is my own mother. She’s been a mom for 44 years now. She had two kids and worked from the time I was about 7 years old until about 2 years ago. I also know that she has never been more than 120 pounds. HOW CAN THAT BE? She’s a mom! That means she MUST be overweight, right?? What? I don’t get it. Oh, I remember now, it’s because she doesn’t overeat. That’s right… it has nothing to do with her status as a mother, but everything do to with how many calories she takes in. Using the “mom excuse” logic, all mothers would be overweight, yet, you don’t see that. There must be some other factor working here then, huh? Yeah, that “mom excuse” is looking flimsier by the second.

Implication #3: “I’m a mom, which means I’m important to my kids, but since I don’t take care of my health, my kids are going to be screwed if something catastrophic happens to my well-being (especially since my slacker husband can’t take care of them).”  

(See, I’m closer to being a mother than you realized, huh? I’m completely playing the “guilt” card here.) I guess being a mom means you won’t be able to take care of your health, which means your health and weight will deteriorate until, well, who knows what will happen? If being a mom is really important to you, then try taking care of yourself so that you can be a mom for as long as you can!

Yes, I do get offended by people who question my ability as a parent. I’ve been training and wanting to be a father since I was a kid. But when I hear someone tell me that I “wouldn’t understand because you’re not a mom,” I realize that they’re not really questioning my parenting skills but simply coming up with yet another lame excuse for not taking care of themselves. The people who use this statement simply need to realize it for what it is: a lame, (potentially inflammatory) excuse.

It’s a family affair

I’ll admit that this is not something we often do, but I’ll put it out there anyway in case it may benefit someone else. If you’re having trouble finding time or ways to get some activity in, make it a family affair. Take the kids for a walk around the neighborhood. Go to the park and play Frisbee. Take up bike riding with them. When I ride around Audubon Park, I always see joggers (parents, presumably) pushing those “jogging strollers” while they run their laps. That doesn’t need a babysitter! Having children doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to have time to work out or be active, it just means that you are going to have to be more creative. Instead of sitting in the bleachers at soccer practice while scarfing down nachos and cola, get up and walk a few laps around the soccer field. If people look at you funny, and wonder why you’re doing laps around the soccer field, say “because I don’t want to look like Jabba the Hutt.”

But again, (and I will NEVER stop pointing this out) the biggest thing you can do to get down to a healthier weight that doesn’t require ANY babysitters or a spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend or domestic partner is to EAT LESS!

One of the ways that I have been successful this time is recognizing the excuses that I’ve made to others and myself over the years for what they are: excuses. Excuses won’t help you, they won’t get you to a healthier weight, they aren’t really comforting, they don’t really disguise you from others who can see straight through them. All they really do is prevent you from acting and achieving your potential. That’s not a good place. I don’t like that place. I don’t want to be there any more for I spent too much time as a guy who’s been there…

The One Thing

Putting it into perspective

I have said that most of the success I have had with losing weight lately is mostly due to having the right mental attitude. However, if I had to boil it all down to the one thing that I had to get my mind wrapped around in order to be successful, it would be this:

“It’s going to take longer than I had hoped.”

If you can get that through your head, that it’s going to take longer than you had hoped, then I think you are on your way to having a more successful attempt at losing weight and getting in shape. I’ve been trying to lose weight off and on for 20 years now. This time around, I’ve been more successful than I have ever been in the past. I started 7 months ago and I have lost 28 pounds. That’s twice as much as I lost 2 years ago when I tried then.

Here’s what has changed:

 When I first started calculating out how long it would take me to lose the weight I am trying to lose, I figured I could lose 2 pounds a week. Two pounds a week is the upper limit for losing at a safe rate. Okay, I wanted to lose 68 pounds. So, that would take about 34 weeks or around 8 and half months to lose all that weight. IF I could lose at a steady 2 pounds a week. However, here I am 7 months later and I’ve lost less than half of what I want to lose. Am I discouraged, no, because, heck, I’ve lost 28 freakin’ pounds so far.

Let’s do the math. In order to lose about a pound, you need to burn around 3,500 calories. In order to burn 2 pounds a week, you need to burn an additional 1,000 calories a DAY consistently. That’s pretty difficult to do unless you are constantly controlling what you eat and training hard every day. Now, if I calculate back to what I have lost over the last 7 months, I’ve been burning a steady 450 to 500 calories a day more than I’ve been taking in. With the new calculations, it’ll take me a year and 4 months to get to my goal. That’s longer than I had hoped, but what the heck am I waiting for? What else am I going to do? It needs to be done, it’s just going to take longer. Once I have accepted that, I can deal with it. And that new calculation puts me at achieving my goal right around Christmas this year. What if I don’t make my goal by then? So what? I’ll still be working toward my goal and, guess what, it’ll just take longer. But in my mind, it’s going to get done. So, like I have said, don’t set yourself up for discouragement and failure, get your mind wrapped around the notion that it’s going to take longer than you’ve hoped. Embrace it. Be okay with it.

Just remember though, if you don’t do anything, it’ll take forever. And 1 year and 4 months is a LOT shorter than forever.

I don’t just consolidate your debt, I ELIMINATE it!

One way of looking at the amount of weight I want to lose is thinking as if it’s a mortgage. Here’s how I do it: I want to lose 68 pounds. In caloric terms, that’s 238,000 calories I need to burn. If we say that those calories are actually dollars that I am in “debt,” we can do some fun imagining. (Well, I think it’s fun.)

Okay, so I am staring at $238,000 mortgage and I want to pay it off as quickly as I can without killing myself. Well, in real life there are things like electric bills, water bills and incidentals that you have to pay in order to live. We’ll call those things your basal metabolic rate. There are some calories you have to take in (meals, healthy snacks) that you need in order to live day to day. These calories function to keep us alive. So, you have to eat, it’s just a fact of life. Just like you have to pay those monthly bills. But you want to get that mortgage paid off as quickly as possible.  So, you cut out expenses elsewhere. Maybe you don’t go to the movies as often, or put off buying a new computer. In the calorie world though, a movie could be compared to a World’s Finest Chocolate Candy Bar. One serving of one of those is 330 calories. Well, if you eat one of those, that’s like adding $330 to your debt. Now, it’s going to take even LONGER to pay off that mortgage. Sometimes it feels as if you’re never going to pay off that mortgage if you don’t reign in your expenses. The same thing happens to your weight if you don’t reign in your eating. You either get more in debt or you start working toward getting that debt down. So, the next time you have the urge to splurge by eating something that’s not necessary, think “do I want to add this to my already huge mortgage debt?”

But in the same vein, if you go workout for 35 minutes, you might burn off 330 calories. Well, would you rather that time be spent paying off the mortgage or just getting rid of the World’s Finest Candy Bar? Me, I’d rather keep paying down my calorie mortgage. But like in the real world, it’s okay to celebrate once in a while. We spend money on things frivolously from time to time and that’s okay. But if we spend frivolously all the time, then we’re going to get in serious debt trouble. The same thing happens if we eat frivolously all the time, we get into serious calorie trouble.  It’s up to you.

Time for another perspective

Maybe money isn’t a good analogy for you. In that case, I like to look at time. When I work out on the treadmill, or elliptical trainer or rowing machine, I burn around 600 calories an hour, which works out to an even 10 calories a minute. That’s a nice round number we can use. So, when I work out on the treadmill for 30 minutes, that’s 300 calories down from my 238,000 calorie debt that I need to pay off. If I burn off 2,000 calories a day from simply existing, then I need to take in 2,000 calories a day to stay at the current weight. But by adding the exercise, I burn 300 extra calories a day and that goes toward paying down my debt. But what does this have to do with time, Shawn? You said we weren’t talking about calorie mortgages any more. Okay, fine. Use the 10-calorie estimate when you look at food labels. If I want to eat some Doritos and I look at the label and it says it’s 250 calories per serving, that’s 25 minutes on the cardio machine to burn it off. TWENTY-FIVE minutes!! YUCK! That’s 25 minutes that I WON’T be using to pay off my calorie debt. Twenty-five minutes doing cardio BEFORE I start losing the weight I want to lose. If you are pressed for time, (like everyone says they are) why would you want to ADD time to your workout by eating something you don’t need? So, when you pick up that World’s Finest Candy Bar (guess what someone at work was selling this past week?) think to yourself “Do I really want to add time to working out? Time I supposedly don’t have the first place?”

Starting Tight End for the Saints

If you grew up in the 70s, you probably remember the “After School Specials” and all the other things thrown at us about the things we can accomplish if we “just put our minds to it.”

Most of the time, the phrase “You can do anything if you just put your mind to it,” is baloney. No matter how much I try, I am not going to be starting tight end for the Saints, I’m not going to be a rock star, or president. A lot of times, if you want to do “anything you put your mind to” you need luck, circumstances, and lots of talent. BUT, there is ONE area in which the phrase, “you can do anything if you put your mind to it” is absolutely, 100-percent correct and apt. And that’s in the area of getting in better shape. We can all get more fit if we put our minds to it. We can all do something, anything to get in better shape. We just need the mind to do it.

So, whatever makes it easier for you to understand and comprehend, figure it out and use it to help you be more successful. I’ve analyzed and calculated things for 20 years now. I’ve figured and made analogy after analogy to myself. There’s very little I haven’t used to try to get myself in shape and this time I’ve got a positive attitude to help me out and I know it’s going to work because, well, I’m a guy who’s been there.

Fear is the mind-killer

“Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering…”

Yoda was talking about the path to the dark side. However, you could just as easily use this to describe the emotions someone goes through on their journey to a healthier weight. Fear can describe the fear of failing again after trying so many times before, the fear of looking foolish at the gym or any other fear that keeps you from acting to take control of your health. The anger you feel could be the anger you have for yourself for allowing you to go so far without helping to improve your health, which may cause you to hate your self-image. All together, the first three emotions cause you to suffer from things like poor self-esteem and depression.

I have to deal with these emotions from time to time. The only way I am able to deal with them successfully is to change my mental attitude. I would say that 85 percent of my success is due to mental attitude. First, I had to get so upset with myself that I felt that I needed to take action. What was I waiting for? Nothing is going to come along to make losing weight and getting in shape any easier or quicker. I had to come to terms with that. One way to come to terms with that idea is to look around you when you are in public place that has a lot of people. If it were easy to lose weight, if there were some magic pill, if there were some quick method to lose weight, would you see all those overweight, obese people? It’s not going to get easier, and it’s not going to get harder. It’s always going to be the same level of difficulty for me, I just needed to make the decision to get it done. I still have a long way to go, but now I feel that I can do it. I can succeed.

One thing I needed to overcome was the fear of working out at the gym. I was afraid that everyone would be mentally critiquing my technique (or lack thereof). I was afraid to try new machines or new exercises because everyone else seemed to know what they were doing. To counteract this fear, I wrote down the names of each piece of equipment at the gym and then looked them up on the Internet. The Internet is an amazing resource. You can go to YouTube and type in the type of machine or exercise you want to try and I assure you, there will be a video of how to use/perform it.

But after I have become familiar with the equipment and have been to the gym hundreds of times, I can tell you this: people are not out to get you at the gym. I mean, I have never looked at someone and said “she sucks at lifting weights.” Or “what a lard-ass! What is he doing here? Is he serious?” I will tell you this, though, there is this guy who I just started noticing at the gym. He’s the largest guy I’ve seen there. He must weight at least 150 pounds more than I do. But, every time I see him, I want to just go up to him and say “we can do this” and I’m also thinking “I hope he keeps this up.” But at NO point, do I ever think, “God, what is he even doing here? It’s futile.” The other people you see in the gym are either so concerned with their own workouts to bother worrying about you and how you look, or they are glad someone like you is trying to do something about your health. As long as you are sincere and polite and earnest in your workout, people will be okay with you there. I will admit though, that it will take me a few exploratory tries when no one else is around before I can be comfortable enough with a piece of equipment I’ve never used before. BUT, once I’m confident that I am doing it correctly, I think “whoa! This is another thing I can add to my repertoire. Coolness!”

If you have any questions about gym equipment while you’re at the gym, find someone who looks approachable and say, “look, I’m trying to get a handle on my health. I’m not sure how to use this equipment, can you help me out?” I think showing people that you are sincere will make them want to help you out even more, no matter what your size.

This is not to say that you will never encounter negativity. I encounter it on almost a daily basis--never at the gym, though, mostly at work.

There are a few coworkers who have started walking the track behind our school while on lunch break. I’m very proud of them for making an important step towards being healthier. However, you’ll still hear detractors commenting “well, what good is that? Just walking? How’s that going to help?” Well, to those types of people, I just want to say “It’s better than nothing, it’s better than what they used to do, and it’s better than what your fat, lazy ass is doing.”

Looks can be deceiving

A friend of mine who is aware of my weight-loss attempt, told me that she had been teased all her life about her weight. She said it hurt her and really offended her when people would talk about her weight and attribute her shape to all kinds of bizarre things. The difference in her case is that she is what most people would categorize as “thin” or “skinny.” She’s not anorexic, just annoyed that people would attribute her thinness to abuses. I don’t know what it is about people’s penchant for being negative about anyone’s shape, but my point is that no matter what shape you’re in, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy with it and people should respect that. If you have noticed through my facebook postings or on here, I have never said I wanted to be “skinny.” I have always said that I want to be a healthy-weight, in-shape adult. People who are overweight, I implore you, don’t say you “envy,” or think that “skinny” people are “lucky.” They may be just as concerned about their shape as you are and pointing it out probably makes them more self-conscious.

Some people argue that you should be happy with how you are. Well, I agree, but with a difference. I don’t think that means you need to resign yourself to being an unhealthy weight and be happy about it. I am still not at what I would consider my healthy weight, but I am happy with myself. Why? Because I realize now that I am the type of person who will do something to make himself healthier. I am much more confident about getting healthy and that makes me happy. Even though I’m still at a pretty unhealthy weight, I am happy that I am the type of person who will deal with it. I was unhappy before because I was overweight (obese, really) and knew in my heart that I was not doing all that I could to get healthier. But now, mentally, I have switched over to believing that I can make a difference. And that is the person I am happy with—the positive guy who is confident about changing his health.

My goal in this blog is to chronicle the obstacles I face in my journey toward a healthier weight and life and explain how I deal/dealt with them in hopes that someone facing the same problems can benefit. But at times, I just have to get some things off my chest. One thing I had to deal with was making excuses as to why I wasn’t healthier or trying to be. More than a couple of people at work have told me this, “you know, skinny people can be unhealthy too!”

Some skinny people aren’t healthy? That’s your argument? Seriously? I guess we should all give up and just stuff our faces with King Cake and Popeye’s Chicken. Heck, we wouldn’t want to get skinny! SOME skinny people aren’t healthy!

But then I remember that I am smart and that their argument is fairly lame. Maybe, when being skinny is the number one cause of death in America, I’ll get nervous. But right now, according to the Centers for Disease Control, the number one killer in America is cardiovascular disease. Hmmm…. Now what would be a contributing factor to cardiovascular disease? Hmm…. let me think… it’s probably not being skinny… OH WAIT, I KNOW! Maybe it’s having EXCESS WEIGHT!

So, please, everyone, don’t come up with any more excuses. I will counter EVERY one of them. Why? Because I’ve already come up with every excuse in the book and argued myself out of them during my own struggles. After all, I’m a guy who’s been there…