“Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering…”
Yoda was talking about the path to the dark side. However, you could just as easily use this to describe the emotions someone goes through on their journey to a healthier weight. Fear can describe the fear of failing again after trying so many times before, the fear of looking foolish at the gym or any other fear that keeps you from acting to take control of your health. The anger you feel could be the anger you have for yourself for allowing you to go so far without helping to improve your health, which may cause you to hate your self-image. All together, the first three emotions cause you to suffer from things like poor self-esteem and depression.
I have to deal with these emotions from time to time. The only way I am able to deal with them successfully is to change my mental attitude. I would say that 85 percent of my success is due to mental attitude. First, I had to get so upset with myself that I felt that I needed to take action. What was I waiting for? Nothing is going to come along to make losing weight and getting in shape any easier or quicker. I had to come to terms with that. One way to come to terms with that idea is to look around you when you are in public place that has a lot of people. If it were easy to lose weight, if there were some magic pill, if there were some quick method to lose weight, would you see all those overweight, obese people? It’s not going to get easier, and it’s not going to get harder. It’s always going to be the same level of difficulty for me, I just needed to make the decision to get it done. I still have a long way to go, but now I feel that I can do it. I can succeed.
One thing I needed to overcome was the fear of working out at the gym. I was afraid that everyone would be mentally critiquing my technique (or lack thereof). I was afraid to try new machines or new exercises because everyone else seemed to know what they were doing. To counteract this fear, I wrote down the names of each piece of equipment at the gym and then looked them up on the Internet. The Internet is an amazing resource. You can go to YouTube and type in the type of machine or exercise you want to try and I assure you, there will be a video of how to use/perform it.
But after I have become familiar with the equipment and have been to the gym hundreds of times, I can tell you this: people are not out to get you at the gym. I mean, I have never looked at someone and said “she sucks at lifting weights.” Or “what a lard-ass! What is he doing here? Is he serious?” I will tell you this, though, there is this guy who I just started noticing at the gym. He’s the largest guy I’ve seen there. He must weight at least 150 pounds more than I do. But, every time I see him, I want to just go up to him and say “we can do this” and I’m also thinking “I hope he keeps this up.” But at NO point, do I ever think, “God, what is he even doing here? It’s futile.” The other people you see in the gym are either so concerned with their own workouts to bother worrying about you and how you look, or they are glad someone like you is trying to do something about your health. As long as you are sincere and polite and earnest in your workout, people will be okay with you there. I will admit though, that it will take me a few exploratory tries when no one else is around before I can be comfortable enough with a piece of equipment I’ve never used before. BUT, once I’m confident that I am doing it correctly, I think “whoa! This is another thing I can add to my repertoire. Coolness!”
If you have any questions about gym equipment while you’re at the gym, find someone who looks approachable and say, “look, I’m trying to get a handle on my health. I’m not sure how to use this equipment, can you help me out?” I think showing people that you are sincere will make them want to help you out even more, no matter what your size.
This is not to say that you will never encounter negativity. I encounter it on almost a daily basis--never at the gym, though, mostly at work.
There are a few coworkers who have started walking the track behind our school while on lunch break. I’m very proud of them for making an important step towards being healthier. However, you’ll still hear detractors commenting “well, what good is that? Just walking? How’s that going to help?” Well, to those types of people, I just want to say “It’s better than nothing, it’s better than what they used to do, and it’s better than what your fat, lazy ass is doing.”
Looks can be deceiving
A friend of mine who is aware of my weight-loss attempt, told me that she had been teased all her life about her weight. She said it hurt her and really offended her when people would talk about her weight and attribute her shape to all kinds of bizarre things. The difference in her case is that she is what most people would categorize as “thin” or “skinny.” She’s not anorexic, just annoyed that people would attribute her thinness to abuses. I don’t know what it is about people’s penchant for being negative about anyone’s shape, but my point is that no matter what shape you’re in, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy with it and people should respect that. If you have noticed through my facebook postings or on here, I have never said I wanted to be “skinny.” I have always said that I want to be a healthy-weight, in-shape adult. People who are overweight, I implore you, don’t say you “envy,” or think that “skinny” people are “lucky.” They may be just as concerned about their shape as you are and pointing it out probably makes them more self-conscious.
Some people argue that you should be happy with how you are. Well, I agree, but with a difference. I don’t think that means you need to resign yourself to being an unhealthy weight and be happy about it. I am still not at what I would consider my healthy weight, but I am happy with myself. Why? Because I realize now that I am the type of person who will do something to make himself healthier. I am much more confident about getting healthy and that makes me happy. Even though I’m still at a pretty unhealthy weight, I am happy that I am the type of person who will deal with it. I was unhappy before because I was overweight (obese, really) and knew in my heart that I was not doing all that I could to get healthier. But now, mentally, I have switched over to believing that I can make a difference. And that is the person I am happy with—the positive guy who is confident about changing his health.
My goal in this blog is to chronicle the obstacles I face in my journey toward a healthier weight and life and explain how I deal/dealt with them in hopes that someone facing the same problems can benefit. But at times, I just have to get some things off my chest. One thing I had to deal with was making excuses as to why I wasn’t healthier or trying to be. More than a couple of people at work have told me this, “you know, skinny people can be unhealthy too!”
Some skinny people aren’t healthy? That’s your argument? Seriously? I guess we should all give up and just stuff our faces with King Cake and Popeye’s Chicken. Heck, we wouldn’t want to get skinny! SOME skinny people aren’t healthy!
But then I remember that I am smart and that their argument is fairly lame. Maybe, when being skinny is the number one cause of death in America, I’ll get nervous. But right now, according to the Centers for Disease Control, the number one killer in America is cardiovascular disease. Hmmm…. Now what would be a contributing factor to cardiovascular disease? Hmm…. let me think… it’s probably not being skinny… OH WAIT, I KNOW! Maybe it’s having EXCESS WEIGHT!
So, please, everyone, don’t come up with any more excuses. I will counter EVERY one of them. Why? Because I’ve already come up with every excuse in the book and argued myself out of them during my own struggles. After all, I’m a guy who’s been there…
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